Finally confronted H on affair...Now what????

[InAPickle]

Just to shed some light. I just went through a mediation in Florida last April.

Some time after my L had drafted a settlement agreement and distributed for perusal, we went to the mediator's office.

Me any my L were situated in one room.
XW and her L were stationed in another room.

The mediator would go back and forth between the rooms, as the parties wanted to either accept or amend each line item in the agreement, in some cases "meeting in the middle" on contested issues. The mediator would offer suggestions and observations on the opposing party's disposition or level of stubbornness, while the lawyers advised.

We never did any negotiating face to face.

There is a caveat however. My XW and I were both predisposed to get it over with and avoid court. We trusted each other to this extent. For example, we agreed to a 50/50 split of custody knowing full well we would be flexible with schedules and allow the kids to spend the night with whomever they preferred.

I think you have to meet some level of trust with your WAS, if you're going to negotiate/mediate.