When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[mishka422]

UGH! I have got to stop reading newcomers!!! They are so sad and desperate and it takes me right back to where I was not so long ago. Heck, I'm still there some days but their raw pain just punches holes in my heart. I feel so horrible for them but there is absolutely nothing I can say that would be any help to them. Hope some of you can!!

Here's a question for those of you who's spouses had affairs.

Do you ever close your eyes, in a quiet moment, and the face of the ow/om pops into your head? Happens to me ALL the darned time and often during very inoportune times. Why is that? How twisted is that? WTH???? It makes me sick to my stomach and then my mind always wanders off to thinking about what their life together must have been like, how different she was from me, how confident she seems especially compared to me, why I feel the way I do about everything....blah blah blah.

It's just something that happens so often that I thought I'd get a concensus from you all.

One of the threads I was skimming had me thinking about my role in the destruction of my M. I still am not entirely sure what I did that pushed him into her arms, I can guess but that does me no good. What if I do the same things again and push him out again? I've asked before what changes I could make that he would like to see and he has no answers or suggestions. That scares me. There have to be things that caused this but without a clue what they are I just live with constant wonder and fear about it.

Sorry about the wandering thoughts. They've been eating me up inside and I had to get them out in the hopes that someone would have an ideas.