That's normal too. When our spouse leaves it's normal to want them back with intense emotion because (1) we've been rejected and don't like that feeling and (2) we can't have them right now, and that makes us want them even more!

It's not rational, in some cases we want them more than we did when we were dating. I always thought that if my W cheated on me, I would be out the door and she would need to apologize profusely and woo me back. When it actually happened, however, I felt like I had to do the apologizing and the courting.

It's normal to have moments of clarity when we step back and ask "why do I want this person who has wronged me? Would I be better off without them?"

We need to keep doing a "gut check" when that happens and stay in touch with your motivations. In my case, I found that I really did love my W very much and believed my life would be better with her than without, but it is healthy to question!

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015