When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[whatisis]

Hang in there Mish. What I've found in life is often when you least expect it an answer will pop up! That doesn't mean we stop working at it but, just remember, we can't always see where our deliverance will come from. Thinking of ya!

[oldtimer]

I used to make money in grad school at www.clicknwork.com. You can work whenever you want. You can do web searches, data entry, transcripts, all kinds of stuff.

[mishka422]

Maybe since that site encorporates a test that might tell me what I can do, that would be a good avenue to explore. I swear, I read these descriptions of what these people want you to be able to do and it sounds like quantum physics!!!!

Thanks OT! I'll give it a try!

[ClingingToHope]

I've been pretty lucky. I found three part-time jobs that kind of all work out with my main one. The big thing was just getting on the phone with friends and asking if they know of anything.

[mishka422]

NO luck on the job front yet....sigh.

We went to the state fair this weekend. It was so much fun and relatively cheap with the excetion of the darned car battery we had to buy on the way down there. Thankfully the car broke down directly across the street from an Auto Zone! That was fortunate. I knew the battery was going to go sometime soon as it was getting more difficult to start. When we pulled it out we discovered it was the factory battery. It lasted over 5 years so I'd say that was pretty good.

We had a lovely family day together. It was beautiful outside and we walked all over, held hands, laughed and joked. It was amazing. There are times though that I see a distance growing, like before, but this time I recognize it. Recognizing it and fixing are two different things though. I'm going to have to figure that one out.

I'm starting to think I may need to move to piecing but I don't want to wander off somewhere where I don't know anyone. I don't do well by myself! LOL

[kat727]

Oh, you know we would follow you anywhere.

love ya, kat

[mishka422]

UGH! I have got to stop reading newcomers!!! They are so sad and desperate and it takes me right back to where I was not so long ago. Heck, I'm still there some days but their raw pain just punches holes in my heart. I feel so horrible for them but there is absolutely nothing I can say that would be any help to them. Hope some of you can!!

Here's a question for those of you who's spouses had affairs.

Do you ever close your eyes, in a quiet moment, and the face of the ow/om pops into your head? Happens to me ALL the darned time and often during very inoportune times. Why is that? How twisted is that? WTH???? It makes me sick to my stomach and then my mind always wanders off to thinking about what their life together must have been like, how different she was from me, how confident she seems especially compared to me, why I feel the way I do about everything....blah blah blah.

It's just something that happens so often that I thought I'd get a concensus from you all.

One of the threads I was skimming had me thinking about my role in the destruction of my M. I still am not entirely sure what I did that pushed him into her arms, I can guess but that does me no good. What if I do the same things again and push him out again? I've asked before what changes I could make that he would like to see and he has no answers or suggestions. That scares me. There have to be things that caused this but without a clue what they are I just live with constant wonder and fear about it.

Sorry about the wandering thoughts. They've been eating me up inside and I had to get them out in the hopes that someone would have an ideas.

[kml]

Stop signs! Picture a big red stop sign in your head when you start to go down that road.

You wouldn't watch a horrible movie (like, say, Gigli) over and over again, would you? So why run these horrible "movies" in your head all the time? Just picture a big red STOP sign, and change the reel to a comedy.

[kat727]

First of all you didn't push him into someone else's arms. He did that all on his own. It wasn't about you. Problems in your marriage, those you can take partial responsibility for.

Now your job is to still be the you that you want to be and not because of Gabe but just because of you. You have grown so much in the time I have known you, don't you even doubt that for one minute!

As for seeing the OW's face, nope I can say that I have but then again I don't know her so it is only from pics that my ex posts for my kids do I ever really see her. I agree with kml, use a stop sign when ever your mind goes there. It doesn't serve any purpose to reflect on her because it could have been anyone.

kat

[BeginningAgain]

I fortunately have never met the OM - I've only seen one picture of him that my ex sent me before the you know what hit the fan. She wanted to show me the group of "friends" she was hanging out with while deployed over in the "danger zone." Real nice when I found out one of them was doing more than the foxhole trot with her.

Anyway, I really don't think about him anymore. It took me awhile, but I finally realized that the best I could ever hope for with my ex if we got back together was to be her second choice (since OM decided to just enjoy the sex and then return to his family.) I realized I didn't need to be anyone's second choice and that I deserve someone who wants me and only me.

BA