Yep, I confronted too. The EA was over on it's own a couple days before I did, but W's immediate response was to request "D" with no chance for reconciliation. Fortunately I have been able to DB and reconcile, and to gabbysmom's point, we had to work through it all, and I keep hurting from it -- every day.

To be fair, I think I'm so in favor of confrontation because while the EA was going on without my knowledge, my DB efforts did absolutely nothing, and that was extremely frustrating. Also, I don't know if I could deal with not confronting and knowing that was going on -- right or wrong, I don't think I could deal with it.

Kaffe Diem may well be right that leaving it alone and saying nothing is best, my opinion is tainted by my own needs and insecurities, and the experience I had which is fortunately limited to a single incident where I had knowledge to confront (there were others I never had knowledge of)

--Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015