So sorry you have hit this part of the road, but like all roads there is an end. Sometimes a fork. The choice is whether or not to keep going down it.
A few comments ago you mentioned how DB and DR probably don't work, and I just wanted to share with you how I viewed the books and tools present. There is no guarantee that the M can be saved. If there is anything guaranteed, it is that this is a learning experience, should we choose to learn from it.
I believe the point of DB and DR is to seriously take a look inside yourself, value who you are as a person and if you aren't happy with yourself, take steps to become happy.
Marriages and all relationships take two. You've done a heck of a fantastic job in becoming a much more stronger and capable woman and it is of my opinion your husband is missing out. [censored] to be him I say.
It is these experience that show us what we are truly capable of. You've gotten in great shape from the stories you've mentioned, you've began moving on in your M, with or without your husband and you've done this all on your own (and of course with the assistance of the tools provided through your own counseling, DB and DR.)
Relationships come and go, and believe me and a vast majority of people on this board we all want to see M's make it through these tough times. Sometimes marriages run their course, and sometimes they need to crash and burn before they evolve into what they were meant to be. There is no guarantee in how it will happen because the unknown factor is always the other person in the R.
What is guaranteed is that we become stronger, more capable, more individual and that's the key. Sometimes in M and most R we lose sight of who we are as people because we become so involved in our S that we forget we have to focus on ourselves too.
We all hope and pray things change in your sitch, but the true strength is knowing that it gets better and greatness can still come, with or without your H.
We're here for you always DG, and you have my prayers and hugs.
