Why was there no course map for this marathon?

[Telemark]

Checking in, jb...as always, sounds like you have a good handle on yourself. I agree with what you and NTXSadDad said about missing companionship, and I often have thoughts of how much better our M would be now that I've been able to work on myself.

But that's the kicker...we have done the serious heart-work to make ourselves better, but our W's have not. Even if they decided to return tomorrow, would we eventually go through this all over again?

No thanks. I'd rather slide down a 50 foot razor blade into a pool of saltwater than experience this again.

You're absolutely correct about the payoff coming in other areas of our lives. Those payoffs are what we need to focus on now, because they are what is working. If we get a second chance to rebuild a better M, that's a bonus. If not, we will eventually get a new chance with someone who values us for who we are and who we have become.