Are there any midlife women who want daily sex?

[25yearsmlc]

I think I understand the first part of the post. You discussed a woman never having one, then going through menopause and the rest, and really never getting what it's all about. That means she's one of the rare women who never explored her own bodies and never allowed her body to be pleasantly explored.

Plus even my friends who were virgins placed a high priority on having a good sex life later on. They knew that pleasing their h's was a big deal for their h's ego, as well as their owns.

So I don't understand how your w never ever heard her friends or another woman somewhere talking about sex and liking it. Seriously, Who does she surround herself with? Those conversations are where the part about doing it for the man/h would come in. And liking it.

And the information about sex too. She'd know she wasnt' typical. At least if she told someone, her confessing -that shes never had one -or teling her doctor. That's how she'd learn to give herself one or give herself permission to seek it, or to figure out why she had not had one. She'd know it wasn't you who wasn't typical, but her.

I accept what you are telling me but don't see how it happened. Are you of a different culture?

As for the last part, the questions you asked about what I'd do if my h had never had an O, and I had never seen a man have one, and what I'd do if all else was great in the m? Sorry but The fact pattern is inherently contradictory for me. So it's Very hard to imagine.

It presumes so much that's not applicable to my background or history SSm. Sorry. I have a hard time imagining it.

Though I was not promiscuous before I was married, I knew enough for comparative purposes & had a healthy interest in sex. I considered it a significant factor in "chemistry" when selecting a bf or h. If a bf was too grabby or abrupt, or too forward while dating, or too timid, we didn't date for long.

H and I were very compatible in bed and that factored into how much passion we felt for eachother (certainly not the only factor but yes, it was a biggie).
And that factored into our choosing each other as mates.

I do know what it's like to love a man who just isn't a good physical match though.

I still care very much for him even now. But we were not compatible enough in the physical arena. He seemed to confuse physical pressure with passion or something. He wasn't "bad" at making out or things and I'm sure he learned with time. He just wasn't experienced. But He was a great love of mine. He was poetic and also hilarious and smart and kind and now is a successful CEO and married now.

Here's the thing--while He could easily have been my "best friend for life"--- he simply didn't give me the "sparks" the way h did. He was less experienced than h but that might have been surmountable if we'd had time... But I had to choose. I went with the passion, and that happened to be with the man who had the experience.

I sensed that H and I BELONGED to each other in a way that includes giving ourselves to each other. While I could imagine being "friends" with T, but Not so with my h. No, it was an all or nothing. We'd belong to each other in every way - or we'd go our separate ways. Too much chemistry and passion for less.

God SSM, I'm rambling...to answer your question, I can't...

IT's so foreign to me. So opposite.

I Don't know if it's womanly pride/ego as a lover or paranoia about losing my man to some OW, But I would not marry a man I had not experienced an O with. So your question presumes a scenario that can't apply.
So I can't see being in the situation you suggest, from the get go.

Didn't your w ever explore herself? There's no shame in that.

My kids talk about sex w/me, as my siblings and parents did before. (Well, not exactly as we did before).

My s25 told me once, after something about HIV on the radio, that he has no problem with ""always using condoms if the girl wants me to" (I was driving and NOT expecting that comment)...but it lead to a good discussion albeit an awkward one. He mentioned that "if both people haven't climaxed at the end of making love- then somebody still has work to do."....He's only 25, but he gets it.

I have to wonder about your w's background and childhood and what her siblings are like. Not the abuse thing but the general attitude and talking about sex...the expectations being so low on her end. It's like not tasting food only no one told her that it can taste good. I can't explain why she doesn't know this.

Didn't she have friends making out in the movies, or the back seat of a car, or something? I know my oldest brother stinks in bed b/c of the women I know who've been with him & told me. (It's NOT information I wanted to have...Plus we double dated...gross).

I also know at least 2 of my other brothers take great pride in their capabilities and have gotten complimented by their wives or gf's in public....to their delight.

So How can your w have never been around such talk? She never discussed sex with her siblings or cousins or roomates or anyone? Even now?

A long time ago a very risque friend told me something that shocked me then. She said she'd "never marry a man without checking under the hood first."
If I were single today, I WOULD get the whole engine checked before putting a ring on.

Which makes your question too unrealistic for me. It is like saying asking me:

What if you married a man with values so different than yours...

or what if you married a man you were not attracted to.....

or what if you married a man who would never please you sexually...

See, I would not marry any of those^^^ men...in the first place.

Sorry ssm. I don't think thats helping you much.