But this process... DBing and standing... it takes time... it takes a long, long time... at least relative to what we think we can handle... on a time frame that is probably different than we'd like...
It is said that a person in MLC shows many emotional disorders within... and fairly... every human has the potential to display emotional disorder tendencies sometime in their life...
I guess I still don't really know what I'm dealing with after all. Sometimes her off-the-wall, hurtful behaviors could be described as affair fog or MLC tendencies. Other times, they appear to go word-for-word what I find in articles on BPD. I'm trying hard to prepare myself so I know what to deal with, but this is all so unpredictable...
BTW, is it possible for MLC to be applied to my W even though she's in her mid-twenties? I'll have to do some research on the MLC side of DB. I've often heard it mentioned in a different context than what I would usually think of as MLC (guy in his forties or fifties fearing old age, reverting to younger behaviors, etc.)
I find myself looking back on our R and seeing a lot of hurtful things that she did. Hurtful things that make me feel as though recon is pointless... Then again, this is the same kind of "selective memory" that causes WAS' to walk out in the first place. There might be a chance of this working out in the end because we both want it to. It's only been 4 months after all... These things take time.
Originally Posted By: workinghardguy
I'm coming to a realization, for myself, that even if we were to recon at some point I couldn't commit to it unless she agreed to participate in IC. I know that's anti-DB principles, but there is just so much there. It's like our house is falling down in an earthquake right now. Rebuilding it without having the foundation (each of our mental health) checked would be foolish.
I would feel the same way about my W. If her "BPD elements" really are causing a lot of our problems, then there isn't much that I can do to help it. She would have to find professional help to fix those things about herself. If I'm going to build a family with someone, it won't be with someone who doesn't have her schnit together.
