Bit of journalling!!, need to get things out of my head!
Weekend started really good, I had the kids on Friday night, we went out for dinner, then I had a house viewing as I want to get out of the apartment I'm in, and my wife and kids want me to move closer??? that still puzzles me, why she wants me closer??
The house was great, really nice, the kids loved it, and hopefully I can get a deal done in the next week or so. When my wife called on Friday to speak to the kids, she was asking questions about it, showing a real interest.
Saturday I took the kids home, wife came out to talk, no reason really, she looked great!!, I told her, she thanked me, we laughed about the kids, spoke about the new house, then I left.
I had a few calls off her through the day, nothing of any importance, just calls??
Sunday, I picked my son up for football, when I took him home, she came out again, made conversation, all polite, then I went home.
I was home, she called me, again a nothing call, something about our daughter, then we started our now weekly conversation about us! I know I shouldn't do it, but it just happens!!!!
We talked about the past, the hurt, etc!! We spoke about Xmas, and what was happening We discussed the house and finances, any movements, developments, etc It was all polite, and calm.
She then said that at the moment she was happy with the "new" her, she like being able to do things with her friends when I had the kids, and had never had this before, I agreed.
She then said that although she knew I was trying to change, she could only still see the "old" me, and cannot identify the "new" me, she was still hurting, but was happy being on her own.
She said that I had changed, but mentioned when it all broke out about OM, I said I agree I didn't handle it well, but I'm only human, and when you see the woman you love being with OM, it hurts, I got angry and I'm sorry, but that's for me to deal with over time.
She said she understood, but those arguements hurt her, again I apologised.
She then said that she didn't know what would happen in the future, but for now we need to get along, with no more arguments or hurt.
I agreed and we sort of ended the call
So.... basically I need to let her get on with things, I knew that and I'm trying, but its hard when she calls a lot, and we see/speak everyday!!!
She is enjoying her "new" life, I just have to let her go with that 1!!
And the future is unknown!!!, no Sh**!!!!! I knew that as well!!
