Gunny For better or worse your W is following the typical WAW script. Like many the pressure is starting to mount now and she is starting get second thoughts. She's known this all along this is why she went through such a long methodical process of getting ready to move, so that when the time comes, she won't second guess herself because everything is already in motion.
Now I only say this to get you ready, but once she gets there, expect her attitude to change. You already saw this once already. OM will make all her doubts go away, and she'll pick up her tempo, maybe even become hostile. The next few months will be all about justifying her decision. She'll go out with the girls, OM, and anybody that will give her the time of day.
She'll eat up all the attention and tell herself that she finally found happiness. The next few months, you will be nothing to her, at least she will try her hardest to tell the world and herself that.
Then after all the welcome back parties are done, after her friends are too busy with their own lives to take her out, after she starts running out of savings, and doesn't get a job or a job to give her the lifestyle she wants, after OM starts leaving the toilet seat up, or worse becomes a jerk, then she will ask herself am I any happier?
Then you MAY have a chance.
Gunny I know this is hard but you have to drop her from your mind like a bad ex you just met. Not just as a DB strategy but for your own sanity. Ask yourself what would life be like after a divorce with no chance of reconciliation and start living that way. This includes putting yourself in new and better social situations.
She needs to see you move on, because right now you are her fallback plan. Is that what you want to be 2nd place to OM? Sounds to me like you are a first round pick Gunny, who is this guy? Some dude that never left his hometown, who is very likely in his late 40's early 50's and is so worthless that he is going after a married woman. Sounds to me if he was so great some lucky lady would have him right now.
Please keep journaling your sitch so we can help, but I'd like to hear more about the Gunny who is going out more, getting more involved, finally taking up that hobby he always wanted, and who just had that cute woman smile at him at the club/church/beach/bar/party.
The moment you are no longer depenedent she will notice by how you talk, what you say, and how you look. She'll see you slipping away and ask herself, if I lose him forever will I regret it?
She knows that if things don't work out you'll take her back. Would she make the same calls if she knows you are slipping from her?
