Wife no longer in love with me - Part 4

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TG thanks.

What NOT to do......well, I will never take someone for granted again, I will never put work and career ahead of my R or let it take over my life. I will be a more loving and openly affectionate person, a nicer person and more appreciative. I will be a more a more relaxed person and hopefully happier (although I don't think I will ever get over this or my W). I will not be a prick to people or cocky. I will try to be the fun, cheeky, happy person my W fell in love with.

I think my W decided last year she never wanted to save this and it was too far gone and she shut down her feelings for me. She said again yesterday that if we had gone to counseling in may last year we would have saved this. I said no to it, and tried to sort myself out without telling her.

I don't value myself at the moment....I know I need to, but I feel like such a failure. I failed her, myself, my family......I have let everyone down.
I feel it is a waste, a waste of our dreams and a life together. A waste of 8 yrs of a great bond and friendship.....all thrown down the drain.

I am leaving the old me behind, and to be honest I don't think that person will come back. I am completely empty without her and feel as if my right arm has been cut off. We were attached at the hip and now that she has gone for good, I don't even know where to begin to pick up the pieces.

And even though she says her decision is final and she won't change her mind, I stupidly don't want to believe this, accept it or give up even though I know it is futile.It's too late as she says.