Gunny I know that feeling of depression.The eye lids become heavy and you can't breath. I usually take a walk and it helps. You sir seem like a real great person. Some have told me the same, to let her go. I'm sorry to say that I pushed my W away with my angry outburst so my sitch is a bit different. I don't know if there is OP in my W's life, But sometimes I think she maybe in a MLC. She is like a kid with her horse and has been for about 2 years. She spends all of her time and money on this hobby of hers. Not justifying my baggage. I just felt like dropping in and saying hi, hang in there man we will survive this.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
RICK, As always, good to hear from you. Was just having one of those days this morning, tonight is better, sitting here at work getting ready to host a meeting for veterans. Nights are always better because I know I will be sleeping soon, and, at least for a few hours, I will not be thinking about my sitch.
Hope you have a good evening, talk to you soon, thanks again for the pickup! Gunny
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Hey Gunny how are you today. You know I forgot that for about 4-5 months I worked for the DOD treating sailors at a navy base. Loved it but my boss was a bit wacky and inappropriate so I left. Just sayionh hi my friend. have great day and weekend.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Hey rick, I'm off today, which is not a good thing, too much unstructured time, w's mom is coming today to say goodbye to me, shes a great lady, i will miss her. Another very emotional day/days, I cant wait for the future, when someday I can look back on these days of pain knowing that they are behind me.
Hope you have a good weekend buddy, anything good planned? Gunny
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Sorry to hear about MIL coming to say bye. I would not lose hope if I were you. WAW do come back you know but they say it takes time. She must really care about you if she is coming to say good bye. Most families are the opposite when couples are separeting. They usually find flaws in the other spouses. My brother when I talked to him about my W he has said stuff latelty that I never heard him say before about my W. So I stopped talking to him about my stich. If she is coming to say bye that is a very good thing and that she knows you are a good man and that your W is making a mistake. Don't use this meeting to bash your W stay calm as much as you can.
Saturday we have a fly in at the airport I fly my models at. We have about 30 full scale planes coming to the airport to fly children for free from the surrounding community. So I have been asked to help park cars and planes. Will be in all day event and should be lots of fun. Have a good one my friend.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Hey rick, Glad to hear you will be doing something you enjoy today. It is windy as all h... out there. Hope you enjoy it, does the wind affect the show?
Went to my friday night support group last night. Had a seminar called "understanding yourself" pretty good overview of the different personality types and how they either blend or repel and how they work in love and work relationships. Went out with a few of the members afterward for a glass of wine and conversation. I am meeting some real good people in these groups, and the best thing is they dont mind listening to your story because they have been through it themselves and know how it feels. I know your first one is coming up, so enjoy!
Have a good weekend buddy, talk soon, Gunny
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Hey Gunny yeap windy as hell 20+ knots. We couldn't put a model RC show for the 200 plus visitors but we had full scale planes take kids up for flights, free too. Pretty hairy flying and landings for for those pilots. We had a mean cross wind to top it off. I'm glad you like the groups hope they go well for me also. And that I met new peole in the same boat and learn from them. Hope your weekend is full of joy.
Talk soon.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
hey rick, sounds like you had quite a challenge yesterday, good that you are getting out and doing stuff.
Stopped by an old girlfriends mothers place today. Went out with this girl back in 1980, followed her to college where we promptly broke up but remained friends. She is married now and live out in Pittsburgh. Her mom has been battling lung cancer for going on 3 years now and is now in the final stages. I periodically stop by to do some chores, shovel snow, and just shoot the breeze. She is alone, some of her kids are still n the area, but they all have families, so, its always good when someone stops by to see her. Anyway, wanted to stop in and tell her how much I appreciated her being there for me 30 years ago when my sister passed away suddenly, she was 13 died of meningitis. This women was like a second mom to me, my family was very dysfunctional, my mother was just in her 2nd year of sobriety, my father was having an affair, etc, etc. Her house, her cooking, and her willingness to lend an ear were just what I needed in a tough time. I told her how important she was to me getting through my rough times(seems sometimes like they never end). I will be stopping by more often now that I know her time is probably near.
Anyway, just in a reflective mood, enjoy the rest of the day buddy. gUNNY
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Last night my s broke down, first real time since she dropped the bomb on june 20th. Her mom and her brother were in town, to say goodbye to her and me. They had a few glasses of wine and margaritas, and as everyone left, and I was passing by her bedroom, I looked in and saw her crying. Even as I right this Ifeel like crying. I felt terrible for her. I sat down on the bed next to her and just rubbed her back and held her. She said that everything was finally hitting her. If you have read my sitch, you will know that she is leaving next friday, left her job of 19 years, and is moving in with her sister in another state.
We had a pretty good talk, and it was the first time since right after she dropped the bomb that I have seen her show some uncertainty, or at least deep remorse for what is about to occur. Thoughout this ordeal, we have both gone to great lengths to keep our relationship cordial, friendly, and supportive.
Last night she kept saying how hard leaving is going to be for her. It is the hardest thing she has ever done. We have been together through 13 years of mostly great times. She said she was never miserable, but was unhappy many times. I told her I was always happy to be her husband, that I used to love coming home at the end of a day knowing that she was there and that I had someone who loved me. I said I was always content being her spouse. She said I deserve more than contentment, and I told her she was assuming what I wanted. She said that she had love for me now, and deeply respected me, which is why she stayed in our marriage as long as she has, but that she fell out of love with me sometime within the last 13 years. She says she is really going to miss me, and feels terrible about how things are turning out, she never thought we would be ending like this.
It was a very poingent and very sad moment. This is the first time I have seen a crack in her exterior, which she said she apologized for but that she had to be in "business mode" in order to get through the last few months.
What can you say when someone tells you that they think the world of you, know you are a good man, believes you have been there for them and would do anything for them, but also says that they are not in love with you.
She says that she is not afraid of moving, she will be with her friends and family whom she is very close to, but that she will miss what she is leaving behind, she will miss the life that we planned, traveling, seeing country, etc. She kept repeating how sorry she is. I told her that I wish she could have at least remained in NJ so that I could see my dog once in a while, but she said there was nothing here for her in NJ, there was no connection, and that she had connections in Ohio. I told her that I realize this is very hard for her, and that while I do not like her decision and am very hurt by it, I respect her right to live her life.
For those who have gone through this, what do I make of this? We are not formally sep and div is still months down the road. I am fully aware that she must leave for her own peace of mind. I have pretty much accepted that m is over, I am partaking in GAL activities as much as possible. I am also hoping that someday she and I can be friends, but am having high anxiety because she is leaving out of state. Any thougts anyone? Sorry for the length, but I know that at one time or another, almost everyone on this board has been where I am now. Any words of encouragement, thoughts would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks very much!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Hey Gunny sorry you are having a difficult day. Have you read some the success stories? Give them a try they make me feel better when I'm down. The are located right above the newcomers forum. You seemed to be an honorable man and have faith that she will miss you and her life with you. It ain't over yet even if she moves. My W has shown no emotions going on 4 months. But I pray daily that she will soften one day. Someone told me to let my W go, to let her have what she is looking for. It is hard to do but we don't have choice. Hang in there
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
