I agree 100% that love between a parent and child should come with no strings attached.
When H first left he liked to say to the kids that he left me, not them. He, however, has shown our children multiple times that he did indeed leave them, too.
I have no idea whether he can't see or understand when he hurts one of them or just doesn't care. When one of the kid's points it out that he has hurt them, his usual response is to buy the offended party something. He has not apologized for any misdeed or hurt he has caused them and cuts them off if they try to talk to him about it.
