That is a lot to process, and good for you for asserting your need to do so. You were honest about what you needed and I respect that.
I could see easily obsessing over this even if you didn't already have a tendency to do so. I would try and compartmentalize this one for a while.. let your subconscious mind work through it before you start applying yourself to it.
I don't want to speak to any of the rest of it, just because I feel like it would stimulate more thinking..
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.