new to this..

[workinghardguy]

Something I've found to be useful so far is the application of "Occam's Razor" to most situations with the WAS. If you haven't heard of Occam's Razor, it's a 14th century English concept that basically says, when faced with two competing hypothesis, take the one that requires the fewest assumptions.

Therefore... in this case I would take the assumption that he's just plain confused. That confusion is exhibited in the wedding rings, the mixed messaging, and the behavior.

It's not that it's over or it's not over... that he loves you or doesn't. It's that in a period of a day he may move between all of those places multiple times.

This is what I see in my wife. One day we're friends. The next day an arctic front moves through our house. The next day we ML. The next day she sends me a text or message with love notes. WTF? Seriously, how can all this go on? Can we just stick with a message? Could you just despise me or love me or hate me or care about me? But just one please, this multiple thing is insanity.

Yet it is what it is. Our WAS have a lot going on. Not that I'm defending them, but I am trying to put myself in my W's shoes. She's got all these friends and family who think I'm a pretty good guy and H. What will they think if she walks away? Then there's the kids... what will they think? She hates being alone and hates it when I'm gone. What will that be like? But she isn't in love with me and doesn't desire me... so why bother?

All of these roll together into one person. They pull them here and there and we get to ride the ride with them. Aren't we lucky?

This is the detachment part.. a part I will fully admit I suck at and have to work harder at. The part that says, "my life is my life and will be just fine regardless of the drama and insanity you choose to bring." So, WAS, bring your A-game of drama it won't matter one bit to me because (to steal a line from Stuart Smalley) "I'm good enough, smart enough, and doggone people like me."