W is moving out.....life goes on...

[25yearsmlc]

Rick --- thanks for checking in on me. i think about you a lot. Wish I knew why we were in this sitch, but I do know we will be ok eventually.

TRUE...remember that!
[b]
Yes, I keep talking and talking and need to shut the F up. I've been doing better.... but it seems[u] like nothing makes a difference[/u].[/b]

Hence the need to shut up. IT only hurts You AND the cause...


I'm just sad, down and having one of those days. I want my w back. I want to turn back time and really HEAR her when she needed me to change. I want to keep my S here at home and have a stable family for him.

We get it. A friend with 4 kids died down the street, quite suddenly. Even now I think of things we might have done differently or that might have made a difference.

It's worse than pointless now, Once the analysis is done and lessons duly noted
I mean...
Her medication caused an aneurysm in her brain to leak. She died 5 hours after leaving our home where we were all playing games with the kids and drinking wine and really having a ball. She said she had to leave b/c she had a headache. I said " stop hogging all the attention w/your headache and switch to white wine"...as usual she laughed easily.

We were all shocked by what happened and her h and kids were shattered.

Now, 3 years later, I think that they know more or less what happened, so more questions about what if, and more wishes for the time machine to take us back to before, are worse than pointless. They keep us stuck.

I say all this also b/c I wonder how it is that people with devastating events get through it. Yet they do, mary...isn't it weird?

Like how the survivors of horrible torture or war or POWs or victims of horrible crimes, (like that father/h in Connecticut? Or the victims of the men I represented in court...geez, i Used to wonder how I could get through that...

How do they make it through... and are later on, even happy? IT does happen. How? Ever wonder? I sure have.

I think they take one step after another, breathe one breath after another and in time, they notice the weather is balmy that day. In time, they see that there is a funny cartoon and a smile crossed their lips...IN TIME they begin to heal...


Oh, it's SO hard. How do we LBS survive??? I know.... good days, bad days....and me???? SHUT the F up. I know. I'm working on it. As 25 said, free legal advice. SHUT UP. I need to just sit and stare

or move about and GET OUTSIDE...GAL..what about that? I swear to you this is going to be a ton easier for you when you push yourself on that front. Seriously Mary, what have you got to lose?

I think I should just sign you up for 3 totally unrelated things from this computer..a cooking class, something physcial like Salsa lessons, and maybe start to get your pilot's license. Or take the 1 hour class and go tandem skydiving...I did for my 50th and it was the BEST birthday present I ever gave myself...THERE, problem solved...

....LOL> keep my quiet. Talk only in class.... But it's SO HARD. My family.......is crumbling.

Your family is not "crumbling". Your son will have 2 homes...maybe only temporarily...Watch how you see this event for it will bleed into his perception.
Your dreams of the future you had, are in jeopardy and that is a tough pill to swallow.

But it's not quite the same as having NO dreams left or all shattered. My dead friend has no dreams left. But You? You get to come up with all new dreams...and you get to pursue them!

I sometimes don't think I'll make it.... then I remember I will make it. I have to. I have a son. He is THE most important thing ----even if W is willing to just toss him to the fates, I am NOT> he is MY FOCUS MY LIFE> \

You will make it, you are making it, you shall continue to make it AND MORE

first goal, survive this. You are doing so. Next goal: Thrive from this...

we're getting there...you'll see.

Someday, believe it or not, you may well consider this nightmare ordeal to be among the most important BEST things to have happened in your life.

I'm a better mom, w and person for having been through this. I am happier than I would have been if it were not for this crisis and closer to h b/c of it too...

W/O this ordeal and this place, I don't know where that would've gotten me today.

I have heard that "Best thing to happen to me" line, from at least a dozen divorce survivors and reconciled marriages. They say the same thing, believe it or not. IF the LBSer grows, (as opposed to wallowing in victimhood)

They play the hands they were dealt, as well as they can. They don't fold.

Somehow they get happier and more content within. I have seen this OFTEN.

you will be one of them Mary, I'm sure.