Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

The time without electronics was OUR decision, not XW's. SFO misread that. I actually limit their time in front of the TV more than XW. She's addicted to several shows and the girls get lots of time of vegging. I always take them somewhere on the weekends I have them.

The night went pretty well. D9 read books, we played games. She got through the night.

In the morning, she was upset when I said her 24 hours were up and the disrespect started again. I told her that if she raised her voice or showed more disrespect, I would start adding hours. She took her phone into my room and called her mom. About 15 minutes later she came out OK.

The rest of the morning and early afternoon went well. We played more games. Went to the library. She went with me to work so I could catch up on a couple small things I couldn't do yesterday.

Before you know it, her 24 hours were up. Now she's watching Olivia and setting up the game of life. It was so nice having no TV on that at the library we talked about a 5 hour window every Saturday with no electronics. We either have to go to the health club or library or somewhere.

When D12 gets back we'll talk to her as well.

D9 has another counseling appointment Tuesday night. I am going to focus on the disrespect. That just can't be tolerated anymore. It may mean having to let D12 go to her mom's more often. I don't care. The disrespect has to stop.

XW responded to my email and laid out her financial troubles. This is going to sound shallow. They don't surprise me, but it comforted me. And I feel bad about that.

She is facing bankruptcy and close to being foreclosed on. Back in 2009, I warned her that we didn't make enough between us to maintain our lifestyles without serious, serious cutbacks.

She didn't believe me.

She ran up $9,000 in debt just between May 2009 and February 2010. She shops when she gets depressed and she never saves for the future. It comes from watching her parents. They inherited $100,000 when XW was a little kid and just blew it. There was no money for XW or her sisters to go to college.

She also said in her email that she doesn't ask me to chip in on theater, dance and medical bills because she knows I don't have the money.

I responded that she should ask me to help pay those, the medical bills and after-school care is in the divorce agreement. I will help where/when I can (although now I'm in between second jobs and it's really tight).

I guess it's the "Grass isn't Greener" thing. As the LBS, every once in a while -- especially when finances are tight -- I think she's having this great life and the Grass is Greener. I guess it was comforting to know that isn't the case.

Some day, I hope to be at a point in my life where those feelings disappear. Save the 2x4s saying "you can make it happen." We all know it takes time and I need more of it.