Are there any midlife women who want daily sex?

[25yearsmlc]

that question is more like asking me if my h "could" not have sex (even though technically he could, but he simply had too much baggage to perform??)

then what would I do?

I think that's your question, correct? IF SO, I'd want him to get a full medical work up just as I would if he were to suffer from ED.

I know there are women who develop a condition in which intercourse is actually painful, which sounds like a nightmare. But that's treatable.

IF the situation were reversed, I'd really really want to understand it too.
The underlying causes and the reasons and what role, if any, I played in it. OTherwise it'd be virtually impossible not to take it personally.

I'd have to KNOW why he was refusing me. I've known him to be exhausted and I've known him to be in grief. Even then there was some intimacy.


You don't say much about the why's of it and this does trouble me the most I think. "She just really doesn't like it" sounds vastly insufficient to me...

if that were the reason I was given, ie he simply hates doing it with me or anyone, but once upon a time he did... and he KNEW I missed it and wanted it...and that it hurt my feelings as his partner and my feelings of womanliness...

sorry but I've been with OMs (before the m), and I've turned down way too many I dated who wanted sex and were damn attractive,

so no, I don't think I could handle being m to someone who did not want me.

Not positive yet, but I honestly doubt I could stay with my h in that sitch.

[(Watch someone ask about ED or if my h were paralyzed...that's NOT the hypothetical we are using. I would accept any real physical ailment he had and I'd deal with it.

This hypothetical assumes the facts in SSM's m were reversed and put in mine, albeit with limited information as to why, which is THE crucial question]]

SSm, given the info you have given, It would hurt my ego as a woman, and deny me too much physically, and I'd feel as if someone denied me food only they could give me, (but somehow I didn't die).

I want to taste my food, have good sex, listen to the sounds of good music and children laughing.

I doubt I could be with someone who'd deny me one of those sources of pleasure b/c THEY did not enjoy it.

[/i] There's not a lot of things more personal than sex in marriage.

And you said that she DID like sex earlier in the m, so it's not as if she never has, or did I get that part wrong?

SSM, more power to you if you want to stay m in that circumstance. Understand from my point of view as a woman, that I simply don't know ANY women who are happily married and dislike sex [b]to the extreme/b] of your w.

I DO know women who now have very low libidos for sure, absolutely. That's not rare.

But they either do something about it, (hormones, surgery, therapy)

or they "cope" and ml with their h's anyhow, b/c they love them enough, or want the intimacy. A few sarcastically call it their "wifely duty". But they have sex.

Some confess they are really not attracted to their h's, either b/c of past hurt/anger, or b/c the h's gained a lot of weight or is a goon in bed. But Even the friend with the enormous h still has sex with her him, just not a lot.

Btw, he had lapband surgery so she sees him in a better light now. She seems to appreciate his efforts. I am sure one of his reasons for it, was he wanted his w to be attracted to him. (I know that's not your issue, but it's info).

My request that you dig deeper was based on the women I know, obviously.

And none of the ones even without libido, completely refuse their h's as your w does.

The ones who detest it the most ALL seem to have marital issues you say you don't have. I admit, I resist believing that, okay? Granted, you've been vague, imo about her reasons...but let's say you are accurate and she's wild about you and loves you and the life you've built but she has zero interest in sex AND SHE KNOWS YOU HAVE A LOT of interest in sex...

Sorry but In my heart of hearts, I cannot abide by a woman denying her h ALL forms of sex, while also saying she really loves him (and isn't gay or unattracted to him.) Some rejection is one thing, but total rejection of ALL sex, over years...

Sorry, I cannot wrap my brain around her denying ALL sex to you when she doesn't have a physical problem and YET she loves you AND thinks you're a great guy...

It doesn't jive with me. How can she say she LOVES you and yet deny you so completely? We ALL know there's more to a good marriage than sex. But here, ZERO sex is fine with her and so what if You are hurt by that? So what if it isn't fine with you?? That's not a happy sounding m TO ME......

Yes, see, that's why the "WHY?" is so important here...

SSM the really tough thing for me to say is,



I don't know ANY women like your w, and I know a lot of women, and God knows we talk about sex...

I hope somehow this info helps you. It saddens me.