Everything has a season

[JustStunned]

It is done. Another step in this process complete. I apologize for the length of this post.

I was pleasant, even helpful. She cried and was upset a few times. Several of her support group comforted her. These were all her new friends. She is still playing the victim. They played the rescuers. Though I have been cast as the persecutor I refused to participate.
I refused to give up one item, a box of loose pictures.

I did run afoul of DB principals a few times. I caught myself using endearing terms like dear and honey a few times. They were a natural part of my vocabulary when addressing her. Since I am no longer angry or resentful about her recent acts they just cropped up when I addressed her. It’ll take a conscious effort to remove them.

After they left I moved a few items around to fill in the blank spots, made a list of items I need to replace, and picked up my dog from the kennel. I also formalized a goals list for the next month to two years.

DG, my issue with being gone is exactly that. After she left in January I missed items most of them trinkets, some of them valuable. She did return my wedding band this morning and I thanked her for that.

I am still attempting to figure out what possible use she has for the desiccant bags from the gun safe.

Since she had a crew from her new church here I wanted to be here. It provided me an opportunity to demonstrate I am not the ogre I have been portrayed as. In that I feel I was successful. I was not the person heightening the drama, causing pain and upset, yet she was clearly upset and looking for comfort. The person making her upset is herself.

While being gone may have been easier, it is not in my nature to take the easy route for only that reason.

Val, I have left out details of the drama for the sake of brevity.

The initial list of household items was extensive, including most of the furniture. Since then she purchased a mobile home that I understand contained furnishings. When she did she wanted to hold an estate sale here selling the furnishings she no longer needed.

No, I will not hold an estate sale here for you to sell your furnishings. Take them and sell them elsewhere.

So the next push was to move her goods out over two weekends packing and marking on Friday nights, and move items after 1:00 PM on Saturday and Sunday.

No I will board the dog for your moving day; you need to accomplish it in one day. I will not have this drama spread over two weekends.

So the next push a girlfriend and her to mark and pack on Friday and about a dozen people going through the house moving items out. I compromised on the girlfriend on Friday, and insisted on paring down the number of strangers tromping through the house on Saturday. Friday became Wednesday. I held to Friday. Friday became Monday. I held to Friday.

Do you think she was trying to take back control tonight by not coming?

Only she knows for sure, she managed to get me to expend some nervous energy, and inconvenience me for a few hours. If that give her a sense of control so be it.

Throughout the past month she continued to push up the move weekend. I held to this one, as this was the one we had originally agreed to and I had made arrangements to board the Mastiff.

So this morning there were eight people plus STBX in a frenzy of activity moving a greatly pared down list of household items. I am currently sitting on what is now my couch to arrange to be cleaned. For the most part it was not chaotic. It certainly could have been worse.