Husband Left....

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks for the compliment. I sort of thought I answered this already.....but let's review.

25, I have read some other posts on here from you, all great advice. So let me ask you something. Word got back to me the other that my H still wants a divorce, but after the divorce we can start over with a "clean slate".

But he's said nothing to YOU about this supposed deal? So I don't think it matters at all. I mean it's not really an offer he's making to you as of yet and I'm not sure he will.

He may SAY it all now to ease the blow or to make himself feel as if he's risking nothing but I would not believe it at this point. OR I'm missing something.


That doesn't make sense to me. I feel like if I agree to this, he is playing me.

"agree" to what? He can get a divorce without you agreeing to it.
If you are divorcing, then you need to protect yourself to the best of your ability, and your child, pure and simple.

You can hope for an eventual reconciliation but cannot "expect" it while you are negotiating a divorce. IF THAT"S what he means, and we don't know b/c nothing has been said to YOU

then I'd simply carry on with protecting your child and self, and go from there.


I really don't know what to do or say when he finally approaches me with this offer. Any advice?

What OFFER? What is it you think he's going to ask you to do, now, about a chance for something later? I'm confused as to what you are expecting.

What would change NOW if he says "Someday in the future I want to start over?" Are you thinking that he believes you'll want less in THIS divorce?

I don't understand what trade off is being suggested or contemplated....plus until if and when he says something to YOU, none of this even counts as a conversation.

I love him very much but I am so confused on what to do. All my friends tell me that when he approaches me with this offer, I should tell thanks but no thanks. And let him file the papers. Which I will not help at all. I appreciate any advice you can give me. Thx

So HE'S filing WHILE also saying to other people but not to you, "don't worry, I'm just doing it to get a fresh start with her later"????
Is that it?

I would not believe it til it happens, and THEN I'd cross that bridge.




Is it possible he wants a clean slate b/c he can't face the pattern of deceit and cheating that he has established? um... Sure. But he'll still have to change that.

Getting a divorce while planning to remarry the ex, isn't a way to solve problems. I don't get it.

And he has not "offered" you anything.

Is it your belief that he's asking you to give something up in this divorce under the guise of "later we'll be together so it's okay to not make me pay child support" Or what??

What "offer" or choice are you expecting? I'm not clear on that.

Also, I know you say you love him. But sometimes LBSers get more upset with wanting to Not feel rejected, than we do with what we're actually losing.

Tell me why you want to be married to this man, IF he does not change...

Tell me of the efforts he's made toward being a better man, and how he's owned his behaviors and is working to change....OR is he?

You had an epiphany the other night. Don't lose it.