Well, the only reason I am her is I've got a damn cold and I can't sleep because of the coughing and nose blowing. So I just downed some nitetime theraflu nasty tasting stuff and hoping it will kick in soon.
Like I said above, I am now in cohabitation limbo. It's been inconvenient at best. XW finally got a job teaching at a charter school, but it's not what she really wants to do, so it's a between jobs job. Still looking.
I have been keeping busy, but not too much. I really am off her trainwreck although last week I experienced an emotional flashback. For some reason or other, when she told me she planned to be out of town last weekend, feelings of bitterness resurfaced and it took until after she was gone for them to go away. Obviously, her long distance affair continues. Other than that, I'm fine.
I try not to let the cake eating get to me or the distancing behavior, no hellos or goodbyes or any nicities. I'm sure the kids find it odd and probably disturbing, but there's nothing I can do about it. All I know is that when D17 (soon to be D18) graduates we're going have that little talk about XW Moving out. I know that will help my disposition and eliminate any future flashbacks.
I harbor no illusions about any reconciliation possibilities in the forseeable future. XW has just turned my care switch in that dept totally off. My focus is to raise the kids as best I can while she does her mom part, the co-parenting. Like I said it's inconvenient, this arrangement, but it's only for a little while in the grand scheme. I do hope and pray that S12 who will be S13 by then adjusts to the seperation, which is what divorced people do after all. I am look forward to it.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
