Let's Create Some Mystery.........

[Jamesjohn]

^^^~^^^

[mda1229]

Hey JJ,

thanks for bumping this post up, this is the advice and info I really need right now in my sitch. Right now I am not very good at it, I need to read all I can on this topic.

Thanks again

[sgctxok]

one of MY favorite threads

[Laurie]

This is one of my favorite threads too. I tell clients to look this thread up, so I hope new ideas keep coming!!

Thanks for bumping it up, too!

[Laurie]

Sgctxok and Jamesjohn,
Do you think it would be helpful to pull out these great contributions, summarize them and start a new thread? Or, would just bumping this up be adequate? What are your thoughts?

[bj]

well I am bumbing this thread back up
there are lots of people on here who are at the present a little anxious about GAL and doing things on their own - and those of us who don't mind doing stuff on our own know that it is only a matter of practice

so I think that creating mystery is a little step in the direction of GALing - and focusing on creating mystery helps with anxiety and can be used as another type of thought stopping
if anxious people who have lots of negative thoughts bouncing unwanted in their heads can focus on creating mystery - presto a thought stopper in action

I have more recently come across DBers who have the want but still fear the going out alone so recommend things like going to a big book store (people always go to these places alone) browsing for books (meditation books are great for helping to cope with sleep problems) buy the book and buy a coffee and begin to read
many big book stores have coffee shops attached

this way you are going out alone (but in a little step) and you are doing something legitimate - and there is no need to tell the WAS what you were doing

I have also posted this link on my own thread for 'my friends' to see
there are some really good ideas and I think this link does a lot more for people other than just give them ideas for creating a little mystery it helps those who just can't get up and GAL

great posting everyone
threads that help lots of people need constant bumping

bj

[eagle]

thanks bj for pointing this one out
i know i dont have any contact with W yet but bj half pinched my idea
i go to library borrow a book and buy a coffee or just snoop around library a while and have a coffee just to get out of the house for a bit

also a new thread with highlights would be great and ask others to put there ideas on it or give it a "bump" now and then

[FoundAndConfiden]

bj – thanks for the link…

My W wanted me out of the picture, so I decided to leave her be. I originally lived in upstate NY, so I moved to Tampa, FL (so nice and warm here). I packed up all the stuff I really wanted and turned my life upside down. I’m still in contact with her family, so some stuff about me trickles back to her, but only what I want to!

Granted, this isn’t a good solution if you have kids, but we didn’t; just 2 cats (which I miss very much).

She hasn’t contacted me in almost 4 months… I don’t plan on breaking the silence.

I have a MySpace account that she can look at, so I put up some pictures of me having a good time with some pretty girls at a party; something I never would have done before. Some of my new girl-friends have also added comments to my pictures making me feel/sound like a stud-muffin.

I feel so much younger since I moved to Florida! I’ve come such a long way in getting a life!!

-Tom

[Laurie]

Great suggestion, BJ!

And I like how you make the connection with working on mystery as helping to reduce the thought stopping! Thanks!

[FoundAndConfiden]

^^bump^^