I hate to even say it, but have you considered a more indepth, inpatient psych eval? I know you said she only acts out when she isn't getting what she wants, but being in a psychiatric setting for a few days for deep evaluation wouldn't be what she wants so she may act out enough for them to figure out ways to help.
Remind me, what medication is she on?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!