Looking for the silver lining...

[Queen_of_Swords]

Irish, I understand.
I'm no longer pining the loss of my M or my H, much anymore.
Like you though, if I'm not exactly angry, I'm inconvenienced in the extreme by his actions and sometimes resentful because of it.

1) I look after all the interactions with the teachers/counselors and my kids.The elder is having a very hard time due to off and on depression, teenage physical changes, being in a new school and starting Jr. Highschool, rough by any standard.
2) Maintaining the family home, kids lives money...yep, count me in, in addition to having a brand new job where I'm still learning the system and dealing with all the paperwork/issues.

The rest of your writing I so empathize with because it's my life too.

However, I'm starting to now look at my life in a positive light. Because the truth is I am a manager, I am an organizer, I am competent, resourceful, flexible and a darn nice person to be around.
Although I may not thrive under extreme pressure, I'm surviving and I am turning from graphite into diamond.

He is the loser in this. He's losing the ability to connect with our children, he barely knows what's going on in their lives, because he doesn't ask and doesn't really want to know how much they are struggling without him. I no longer really wish to speak to him because it's all superficial and that I can get elsewhere...like the grocery store checkoout.

My kids and I will be ok, better thank ok. We have support, extended family , loving supportive friends, schools and community.
He's got nothing and the sad part is he's chosen that for himself.