Not sure this has been mentioned, I don't recall seeing it. I didn't think of it, it just happened to me last night. I went to a bar/club last night to hear a band. They stamp your hand when you come in, so you can come and go. The ink takes days to come off.... Easy Mystery. Of course it went unnoticed. But, it's an idea. A husband who was looking, might notice.
The thing that my W would never expect me to do is lay in a tanning bed. I have always (since we met in high school) told her that tanning was a waist of time and money, and not healthy. I learned to put up with it because W said it relaxed her, and made her feel good about herself. A month ago I found a coupon and said "what the hey" and went to a tanning salon. It was just as she said - relaxing and makes you feel good about your appearance.
I failed to complete the 180/GAL though. I have never told W what I did. I'm going to make it the triple crown - 180/GAL/mystery. I will "let her find" my tanning membership card and watch how she reacts. I can't wait!
that's a fine idea TG, I know you've mentioned mystery on my thread. I'm going to plot some ideas there. H certainly stops by enough that I could leave something lying around I'm the kind of person that is an open book, wears heart on sleeve kinda person, so mystery would definitely be a 180. Catch ya later Jennbird
First time in this area ... need some suggestions for mystery, etc.
Separated for 1 year and trying to get the H's attention, and have him begin to CARE if he loses me or not.
One thing: what do you do/say, if the H/W asks for complete explanations of the why's and what's of the things you're doing mysteriously?
What if you're not forthcoming, he says if there's no real honesty, there's no relationship? You don't want to 'lose' him .. but want to 'wake' him up.
I know my H would insist on answers and would want to know "IF" indeed there were somebody else. I'd have to be honest with him, if there's not .. then there goes all the mystery.
Ok. I tried this. First the particulars. W informed me yesterday that she would like us to live like Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. You know, live separetly, co-parent the kids, take vacations together (with OP as well), etc.
Last night she went to a bday party and came home at 6:30am. Wearing different clothes then when she left.
Here is what I did:
I set the alarm on my cell phone to ring at 7:18am, and changed the alarm tone to the same as the ring tone.
Her "friends" text and call her 24x7. I think this is the rudest thing in the world. When I'm at home, my cell is usually turned off. She keeps hers with her, even in the bathroom. Last month she had a 40 page cell phone bill.
W gets in the bed and is actually saying some positive things for a change, like "would I be interested in going to church", etc. Then my cell phone rings.
My one sided conversation went like this:
"Hello?" "um....sure" "....laugh...pause" "didn't we talk about that enough last night?" "....laugh...pause" "Well why didn't you just say So!" "ok, bye!"
W hit the roof. "WHO IS CALLING YOU THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING?!?!!?" Never mind that I'm not allowed to ask her where she is going, or with whom. Anyway, I told her that it was non of her business who is calling me. W immediatly threw on some sweat pants, jumped in her car and sped off.
This is typical of her. When she calms down, I'll reap the results. It just feel's so underhanded.....
Yeah..that story was really funny. But looking back it was the beginning of a long slide down hill. I don't think she ever really came back. If you read the link in my post you'll see how she's been living with the OW (Lesbian) just about since that day.
I'm at the point now, where I'm ready to stop paying the mortgage so I can get out of this house and be done with her.
I thought I was strong enough to deal with this "MLC/thing" or what ever it is she's going through. I think I'm wasting my time. Perhaps, she really is a lesbian and there's nothing I can do to turn this around.
I'm right on the brink of closing the door on any chance of a reconcillation. If you guys see anything different here, please let me know.
