David, just wanted to let you know that I am brushing up on your sitch and that I too can relate to much: Your W acting like a total alien, turning into a nasty and brutish person, blaming you for everything and ignoring your feelings, making you feel like staying far, far away from this new entity as possible...as well as feeling miserable and lost without her, paradoxically.
I agree with Kaffe in that detachment will be your best friend right now. Good for you, and good for her too. Sorry to hear that you have to deal with kids in the mix, as it seems hard to detach when you are forced to interact with her because of them.
I also agree with Kaffe where your W's malicious behavior is concerned. I know for a fact that my W's own nasty reactions are derived from the hurt that she feels inside rather than anything that I'm doing. It's easier for her to paint you as a villain than recognize that she is hurting everyone that she loves by leaving, including you.
