I get that you have the need to understand things going on with her right now....
And I get that YOU may not be able to fully "hear" the things that are being said to you right now...
Most of the time, the LBS has to hit bottom too, in order for our path to become fully lit, so that we can see it...
Reading and understanding MLC is imperative to any of us, right up until it hurts us more than it helps us.
Mostly, I agree with 25, that YOU need to forge ahead for yourself. Changing the things that YOU feel you need to change.
Not for her, not because you think she will see your changes...
Because YOU want to change those things.
For you..By you..Because of you.
How do you do that ?
What do you envision that looking like ?
I also see (from your responses, or lack therof) that you are still blaming a lot of things on your wife. That somehow, she did this TO you, instead of for herself..
In time, and with hard work on your behalf...
You will start to see that she didn't do this TO you, she did it FOR you.
And that is a gift, my friend. ( unlike DLR's hair extensions)
I'm not excusing her poor behavior, nor should you.
Looking toward her for either a reason for YOUR choices , OR a way for you to resolve your choices...may not be the best path for you to take.
It allows you to be a victim in all of this, and for you to receive the "sympathy" vote from friends and loved ones.
I wanted to......BUT
I would have......BUT
BUT....is an excuse, to not do better.
Originally Posted By: Sammy
Im planning on going back to playing in cover bands and continuing my movie prop collections. These are things she had complained about and I put on the back burner. Actually, I just about put my whole life on the back burner for her.
Take a look at your above comment...
I would have done these things....BUT, I didn't , because of her....
Is that what you want your life to be like ?
Your lack of answers from you, leads me to think you may be avoiding the hard internal issues that led you here to begin with.
Have you always been one to avoid answers ?
Most of the things 25 asked you, you completely blew off, as if they were irrelevant.
I had asked you some questions last week that you did the same with.
Lets keep things fairly simple for now...
From what I have seen , and been through. In order for you to have a shot at seeing your kids more...It would be advantageous for you to have your own place....
More than likely, you are NOT going to have any rational decisions with your wife, that would allow you make effective decisions regarding custody issues....
Therefore, you must SHOW the court, that you are able to provide a home for your children, in order to have them more....
Congrats (???) on the lawyer...???
Just because he is all of that and the Ice Cream Man too, doesn't mean you don't have things to do for yourself through this.
