alcoholic H decided he wants D

[imthemom]

Thanks DC, but I dont feel like I have been especially understanding, yes I left because of his drinking and yes I told him I didnt want a divorce, i just couldnt stay there with our son the way things were...but I then spent 2 years punishing him for his past behavior even though he was actively getting sober. For 2 yrs he was at the house every day with us, mowing my lawn helping me with the boys, leaving me cards and flowers and I never responded. I just wasnt at the place were I could trust him and was still working on myself. I had just got to the point were I was ready to open up and discuss a reconciliation when he suddenly pulled away and then 2 weeks later anounced the D....it was pretty over night so Im not sure if this is really him or if something is going on. at first I thought there may be OW, it was so sudden. but I know thats not it. And over the last few weeks Ive thought he may be drinking again but I just cant believe that, he has done so well but I know they say something like 90% relaps......
Im not in a good place this morning, I know this is going to be a long haul and when I think of that it defeats me, I dont know how to do this for months on end. this is day 3 of no contact and I dont see any contact in the near future...he has all but lost the relationship with his son. He sees him on his alternating weekend and that is it!! he works out 4 times a week 2 blocks from the house and since the bomb and not stopped by or even called his son to take him to dinner. My son is suffering which just ticks me off!!!..he goes weeks at a time without seeing him when he decided to work the weekend (which is most of the time) this is not the man I have known and Ive told him he will have regrets, he says he already does??????
good lord, get me threw this in one piece......