My wife called yesterday during the day, I ignored the first call, then she rang back,I answered. She told me that our daughter had been poorly at school and she was going to get her, she said that she was very busy at work, and if needed could I take the next day off to look after our daughter, I told her I was really busy also and couldn't.
Straight away the bomb went off!!! Telling me how I had not changed, I was not there to help her, she was left alone again, etc, etc. She even threw in that her parents can't help as she is not talking to them, and that was my fault also! I just told her that her parents were not happy with her because of her attitude to our daughter when she was stuck at school while she was away with OM!!!!
The conversation basically went down hill, phone slamming, etc.
Eventually she called me, she had out daughter at home, she was fine, and just had a slight tummy bug, and looked ok for the next day.
She then asked me to get a coffee, while we spoke calmly.
Again!!!!, we spoke about us, the kids, the past, etc!!!
I told her that I was tired of having the past thrown in my face, she told me that she was still hurt and angry about it.
So I asked her, why was she still angry with me, she had OM, she had the house, she had the kids, she had her job, her friends, everything she wanted, so why still be angry with me??
She couldn't answer?
I just said that it's because she still had feelings for me, and thats why she is hurting.
She told me she did miss me at times, thinks about me, even said that she thinks she still loves me, but was still hurting.
I again apologised and asked why were we getting divorced? Again, it was because you are an alcoholic!!Ouch!!
I said I was 10 weeks sober, I know its not long, but its where I am, she said that she knew that, but if she hadn't left I would not have changed, I agreed and thanked her.
I said this "new life" she wanted and had didn't seem to make her that happy, again she sort of agreed.
I explained that the pressure we were both under with work, life, kids, etc, was exactly the same, I said we speak more now than we did when we were together, she agreed, and I said we still argue about the same things, and I also said that I bet that in a years time we are still having the same arguments, she said probably and laughed!!
I said that didn't that tell her something, spliting up will not make you happier, I said that I think we should try councelling together, I said I didn't want a chance, I didn't want to move back in or get back together, I justthink we should try councelling together?
She didn't give any answers, but she was very quiet and I know she was thinking about it.
We ended the call when our daughter was calling her.
I really want to get off this ride!!! But I can't!!!!!
I feel as the end/divorce is coming, we are starting to talk??
Will it stop the divorce?, probably not?
But I just don't know where it will end at the moment, it is changing daily!!!
Is she having any doubts?, I honestly don't know And I think her pride will carry it through to divorce, etc.
All I know is the communication is still there, the hurt is still there, but she is telling why we got here a lot more now? She acknowledges my changes, she comments on it, she even applauds me for not drinking, AA, etc.
She knows I've seen the light and changed, but with the hurt, OM, friends, etc, she is very reluctant to stop the bus!!!
I undersatnd that, I cannot make her change her mind, it will take time to heal, a lot of time. Time even for her to look at herself and know that she did wrong with OM so quickly
