This comes from the Jungian-Adlerian school of Fecoanalysis.
In all seriousness, Lila, I think I see where you are coming from and how perhaps in the greater context of your relationship this might not be as 'out there' as it could appear on a forum.
What would happen if you gave him the space to 'come around' to these conclusions on his own?
Would that be more real for him than if you've already put it out there?
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
I'll just have everyone know I got my period. That's pretty huge. I did not yell or scream once, though I felt a lot of rage toward exBF lately. Even today - he did not answer his phone for 24 hours (D was up again ALL NIGHT) and he is nasty to me ALL THE TIME now despite my being constantly kind and friendly and neutral.
I just figured out his big "above and beyond" child support payments are actually what I would be getting anyway ... (based on the fact that my income is currently 10 grand a year since I'm still not finding steady gainful employment, though things are slowly starting to trickle in) and also I calculated a little off last time.
He complained today that "Why should I have to give D a bath and cook dinner." ??? Huh? Cause the kids needs to eat and be clean. I'm not the maid. D isn't feeling well (off and on fever) plus she slept like 2 hours last night - so I asked if he'd give her a warm bath before bed (we do baths maybe every other day) and said I'd get something for dinner later (saving him a trip).
I had a long talk with my sitter today. She wanted to know what was going on and said D is behaving differently this past week - I noticed it too. She said D seems stressed and out of sorts. I said if I tried talking to exBF about things, he'd just think I was guilting him. She was sweet and concerned and since she's a L, I talked to her about probably more than I should have, although she was asking a lot of questions and also very understanding and supportive and gave me some ideas and feedback, since she is with D 40 hours a week now.
Anyway, just saying. I got through this month with no yelling. Just trying to deal differently with the anger. And really just seeing exBF in a whole new light now that I'm less attached to making this work. (Meaning, I think my rose-colored glasses have come off. For good.)
My sister set me straight. Whatever. I can't tell him what to do -he always "rebels" - like right now, D is exhausted and he texted me "nana poo - poo we have better snacks then you" and sent me a photo of her at my favorite cafe that is 40 mins from here and that we haven't gone to since last year. (I didn't even know he remembered it).
Like, what is that?
She's not going to be home for bedtime - let alone bath, dinner, etc. She hasnt' been feeling well. She's exhausted. Whatever.
It's flirtatious and a NON-ANGRY woman would say "OOH, yummy - bring me some?"
I'd quibble with the word "flirtatious" (which will confuse her) and instead use the word "joking". There is nothing to be angry about again
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
