And yes, the reason why the advise you get here is not to have R talks its because people here have walked the same path you have and have saved their marriages. Pressuring your H to decide NOW, asking too many questions, showing him that you are miserable will only make him feel like a failure and will ultimately push him away.
I myself know of several people in real life who had problems with their M's and have advised me to do stop R talk, etc. I was hard headed and kept on going, until I did notice that everytime we did, things went down the drain.
Hold on, let him lead to it. Let him be, so when he finds himself, when he decides, its his decision, and not because you pushed him to it. You don't want him to stay because you forced him to make the decision, tight? You cannot force someone to be affectionate if he does not feel it. But again, he himself has said he loves you, and its great that he recognizes it. Many spouses in MLC even deny that they ever loved their spouses. Like mine.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
