look... le'me clarify my statement (and, for the record, i understand the point):
the more attention to appearance, if it's not a ploy and you stick w/ it regardless of marriage outcome, i agree w/. if you've been a slob or borderline or whatever... GOOD.
in fact anything that's NOT A PLOY and will be CONTINUED, REGARDLESS OF MARITAL SITUATION, i don't see anything wrong w/.
it's the PLOYS. the faked phone calls, the 'GOTTA GO! CAN'T TALK!' then drive around for a 1/2 hour and come back... THOSE are PLOYS. they are DECEPTION. they are PRETENSE. you can rationalize lies all you like, in the end they are still lies.
fabrications, deceptions and ploys are NOT 'MOVING ON.'
perhaps YOU misunderstood... you are advised to GET/BUILD a life... not PRETNED to have done so. there is no self-esteem in fake, arranged whatevers for appearance.
in the end, i will know that i've made the changes i need to make and have acted in the way i need to act to feel better about myself and how i've handled my situation. i could, should things work out, look my other in the eye and be honest about everything.
would those who engineered phone calls or faked whatever be able to do the same?
*snuggling after love.*
'hey... i got something funny to tell you. you remember when we were separated..? and i'd get calls about doing stuff or have to run off and not be able to talk cuz i had something to do? it was all a GAG! i had people call me when i was around you to make you think i had some stuff going on. and i'd just drive around for a while when i'd run off to 'do something.' that's pretty FUNNY, HUH?
'but we're together again and you love me and that's ALL THAT MATTERS... right?'
by any means necessary..? ends justify the means..?
not if you truly love someone... NO.
i repeat: if you have to resort to falsehoods and deception - HOWEVER YOU RATIONALIZE IT - they're better off w/o you.
