NTX, I feel for you, man. I never like it when the conversation degrades to a D discussion. Very frequently, it's unpleasant. I'd be OK, and actually thrilled, if we could ever have a productive R talk.
Yes - you may have backslid, but I don't think you've done irreparable damage. I think the most important things is you learn from this. I think you can take this an opportunity to learn what doesn't work. I think she gave you some 180s, too. You may want to figure out way where you won't come across as judgmental. She also said something about getting in fight. A good 180 may be to derail that self-fulfilling prophecy if you can.
Your W seems like the type that will get angry fairly quickly. Your best course of action may be to back off, and let her cool down, and then carry on the conversation rationally. It may be wise to at the very least, call a time out.
Don't try to mind read too much, either.
Don't beat yourself up. You did what you did. Now you know more about what to do in the future. Put your best foot forward.
