I'll just have everyone know I got my period. That's pretty huge. I did not yell or scream once, though I felt a lot of rage toward exBF lately. Even today - he did not answer his phone for 24 hours (D was up again ALL NIGHT) and he is nasty to me ALL THE TIME now despite my being constantly kind and friendly and neutral.
I just figured out his big "above and beyond" child support payments are actually what I would be getting anyway ... (based on the fact that my income is currently 10 grand a year since I'm still not finding steady gainful employment, though things are slowly starting to trickle in) and also I calculated a little off last time.
He complained today that "Why should I have to give D a bath and cook dinner." ??? Huh? Cause the kids needs to eat and be clean. I'm not the maid. D isn't feeling well (off and on fever) plus she slept like 2 hours last night - so I asked if he'd give her a warm bath before bed (we do baths maybe every other day) and said I'd get something for dinner later (saving him a trip).
I had a long talk with my sitter today. She wanted to know what was going on and said D is behaving differently this past week - I noticed it too. She said D seems stressed and out of sorts. I said if I tried talking to exBF about things, he'd just think I was guilting him. She was sweet and concerned and since she's a L, I talked to her about probably more than I should have, although she was asking a lot of questions and also very understanding and supportive and gave me some ideas and feedback, since she is with D 40 hours a week now.
Anyway, just saying. I got through this month with no yelling. Just trying to deal differently with the anger. And really just seeing exBF in a whole new light now that I'm less attached to making this work. (Meaning, I think my rose-colored glasses have come off. For good.)
