I was DB'ing but just discovered an affair

[NTX_Dad]

Well it's been a decent couple of weeks, but it all ground to a halt last night.

The stbx and D8 came over to the house to watch baseball. D8 played outside for a little bit while the stbx and I talked. Some how the divorce came up and we started talking about the house, etc. She even at one point said "we are going to get in a fight, but..." and then proceeded to ask a few more questions. We did get a little tense on both sides and then she announced they were leaving.

When the D8 came in, she said she wanted to eat and the stbx said that I could come if I wanted, so I did.

We started off having a good time, but then when the little one went to the bathroom, we started talking about her financial situation and I offered some advice (I know I know!) and then she got angry and said that I was judgmental and that's one of the reasons we are divorcing. The tone became very quiet when D8 came back.

When we got to my house, D8 went inside to get her stuff and we talked in the garage for 2-3 minutes. I told her that I was just trying to help because I care about them. She then said something about maybe not seeing each other anymore and I told her that I would do whatever she wanted but that I still cared about her and wanted to be amicable.

They then left pretty quickly. I texted her (I know, I pursued *sigh*) and said that I wish we could get a sitter and talk alone sometime. She said "Yes. But I thnk I'll just be hurt, too many years of that".... followed by "We will see, let me process tonight"

She then ended by saying "I am trying to figure living situation out" (she absolutely hates their apartment).

I replied "I hate that everyone is unhappy. I wish I had a magic wand. I really care you know."

And she responded with "Yes. We are unhappy."



I wonder what she is unhappy about. The divorce? The apartment? Both? Or about the deteriorated evening?

I am mad at myself for offering advice. I am also disappointed that I pursued.

I really hope I haven't set things back beyond repair.