I was referred to a real great Christian lawyer by my pastor. However, this L wanted a $5,000 retainer. Where in the heck was I going to get $5000 from?!?
Anyway, just yesterday, my keyboard player in the worship team is very close friend of mine. Kind of like a dad to me. His W also went through an MLC and left him. Actually, he was the one that told me about MLC.
My friend is VP of an infamous chain of restaurants here in S. Florida.
L is a good friend of his :o)
Yesterday, my friend called me up and told me he had lunch with L and told him about my sitch. My friend told me “Broken, I went through the same thing you have and I don’t want you to get screwed over. God has put it in my heart to help you. Ive been blessed with a great job. Please accept that I paid your retainer!”
After a long pause, and sucking up tears. I asked him how could I repay him? He said, “you don’t have to. You were there when it happened to me and you are a good man. Consider it that its God looking after you”.
How about that!
Well, now that I have a L. I can now feel a little safer that Im not going to get TOTALLY screwed.
Now I can plan on getting an apt and show W that I can make it on my own steam. After all, I really needed a place for me and the kids when W is out doing her thing.
Once I get my apt. I would love to finally go back to school! Also, with my apt, all of my kids friends can come over and hang with them again. Their parents have stopped bringing the kids over to the house because of whats going on. Also, W has developed kind of a avoidant personality towards the parents. The last parent she met with, W told her that I left the house for another woman and that I physically abused W.
During this past year 25, Ive learned a great deal of patience. Although I have my moments of anger, I also spend the majority of my time in peace. I have a great support group.
I do love my W. But, when emotions are out of the way, I do realize that we were not in a healthy marriage. There were too many bad ingredients.
I would of loved for the both of us to go to counseling and work out our problems and live in a home of our own but she refuses to. She only sees me as the source of all our problems.
All the changes Ive been doing are for me. In her current state of mind, I don’t think she will ever see them. And to be honest, Im starting to careless whether she does or not.
Since I left her home, Ive been sleeping better. While I was at her home, I was waking up every hour on the hour. I would wake up to hear her buzzard (MIL) screaming at my daughter or whining and complaining how everything falls on her blah blah blah. The constant blaring of the TV’s with annoying Spanish soap operas was downright obnoxious!
25, I feel like I never really had a chance to be the man I should be in that home. She always ran to her Mother for everything good or bad because MIL was there from the beginning and she’s still there. Within the last couple of years, Ive gone through some tough situations like when I had to situate my father in a home. I went through a year of hell trying to get his VA benefits to kick in and being in and out of emergency rooms with him. To think she would notice this and see how I’m making strides in responsibilities and take to heart that I would go above and beyond for her as well??? Gues what I got in return??? I remember one night being very depressed not knowing if dad was going to get his benefits. W asks me “What’s wrong with you” I told her I was very worried about dad and his benefits. Her reply was “ If you are so worried and depressed, go jump off a bridge!”
I’m taking a chance in writing this comment because I really don’t want to sound self righteous but, I’ve turned to God to help me through this. Per MLC script, she is manipulating her environment to find her happiness instead of looking inward. She thinks that by tattooing a rosary on her ankle makes her good with God. She is just worshiping a god of her own creation.
Our marriage wasn’t perfect. It was kind of rough but, I would of NEVER abandoned her.
Im planning on going back to playing in cover bands and continuing my movie prop collections. These are things she had complained about and I put on the back burner. Actually, I just about put my whole life on the back burner for her.
What you wrote made allot of sense, 25. And the more independent I become, the less I see myself standing for our M. Im going through with the D and Im looking forward to being happy. This was her choice. Not mine. If it works out for her, great. If not, oh well.
She has spent almost our whole R comparing me to other men. Asking me “Why can you be like so and so. So and so’s W doesn’t have to work. So and so makes all this $ and you don’t”. “You will be nothing without me”. “Your kids can careless if you would ever walk in that door again”.
And now she pulls this???
Uh uh.
I the line is drawn here. No further
Im gonna live life for God, my kids and myself.
Me: 37 W: 37 Married Feb 14 1997 Seperated Thanksgiving weekend 2010 No divorce filed yet 1st born son:13 2nd daughter:9 3rd son:4 Trying hard to detach
