Hi, rysmom, how are you this morning? I slept really late, and am just now about to have my first cup of coffee. I was thinking about what you wrote. One of my sisters is what I would describe as a true narcissist. When our F died, she behaved and spoke as though she was his only child. When she was having an A with a married man, and his W became pregnant, she complained that the W was making HER life he!!. She has always said she was somehow better, prettier, smarter than the rest of her sisters. How on earth does one child out of seven turn out like this?
I guess since his supervisor chose to allow him to resign, rather than face charges, you have no responsibility since the situation was handled. Whatever the other things were that he did, if you were a party to them, or accepted them, then you had some responsibility, too. But, I think you had no idea of what to do when faced with the fact that your H was doing underhanded things. I can see that, when you're young, it's not easy to know what you should do. I know, 25yrs, but sometimes the shock of seeing a loved one doing something illegal doesn't always make someone act rationally.
Do you feel you could still love your H, rysmom? If you did R with him one day, what happens to all you misgivings about his character? Do you have any evidence that he may still be acting this way? Or do you think since that was 30 years ago, that he has matured and no longer does illegal things?
I personally think that you are a perfectly decent person, rysmom, and deserve to have a nice life. If you feel you want to try to R with your H, then do try. What can it hurt at this point to try? Perhaps a lot of prayer to give you the right direction.
