Will you think she means that she understands... in a way that you hope she understands...?
And in her understanding, are you hoping that she'll elaborate exactly how she understands and empathizes with your life and how you've been feeling especially that moment when... you baked those cookies... the one's with the smarty eyeballs and licorice smile... and how it felt when she lauged...???
So I ask... do you understand... that she may have a different... understanding... then you might hope for or expect...?
Yes, I suspect she has a different understanding, if she has one at all. If she answers this way and I tell her my experience was different, she could either ask me to explain or not. If she's not interested in hearing my experience, then it just points to her not really being interested in me. That would be a little disappointing, but not unexpected.
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Or are you just wanting to ask and will happily accept a yes or no answer...? Or perhaps a blank look of... "What do you mean...? Do I understand...?"
Same as above. If she says yes, I'd ask what her understanding is... back to above. If she says no, I'd ask if she wants to understand... back to above.
The end result may be the same, but the way that a question is approached can have a significant impact. I want for her to understand what happened in my life, but I don't want her to think I'm pushing her. If there is no way to ask that question without it being perceived as pushing, then I won't ask it right now.
Where we are right now, not pushing is more important that asking for understanding. That being said, our 12 year anniversary is next Sunday, and I've prepared a song. I've written songs for her many times over the years, and it's the best way that I can express myself. Per the recommendation of my IC, it's an honoring of our time versus any sort of love song. The lyrics and music are definitely representative of how I feel, and while somewhat bittersweet, they are a "thank you" more than anything else. She's glossed over the date every time it comes up, so I definitely not going to make a big deal about it. A thank you song and a thank you card, essentially.
