If your w cannot see any difference in YOU, then she won't likely want to resume the marriage.
Keep this^^^ in mind when you rant and obsess and spend your time/energy about her MLC or her mental condition or her texts or her lashing out and blah blah blah
instead of working on YOU.
and ask YOURSELF if you have changed...b/c if you cannot show it in some way OR if you don't really feel it and she can't see it...then why would she want to reconcile?
See, the real work begins with you and for a long time, the work is only with you. Right or wrong, Broken, that's how it is.
Broken,
While I can't say that I disagree with a lot of 25's post, I think this is really the most important part of what she said.
Something that we (vets) sometimes forget, or try to minimize, is where we started.
How painful it is, how hard it is to stop the circle of thinking that keeps us stuck. What it feels like when the slaps in the face keep coming.
We all have done what you are doing. Trying to figure out if MLC or not, being absolutly shocked by things that they say or do, trying to learn how to detatch, thinking that we are and then going backwards, then forwards, then backwards again.
We each forget that there is something that happens within us (and it is different for each of us), that stops that cycle. That "wakes us up" so to speak to where we shift our focus from them to us, where we stop making those steps backwards as frequently...
Time and patience, as well as dealing with our negative emotions, understanding our reactions to things and our motivations behind our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions, are all imperative to finding your way through this mess...
So, lets start with...
What are you doing for you today?
Regardless of her...regardless of anything she might say, think, feel, text, did in the past, or anything...
What are you going to do for Sammy?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
