Another crisis.....but H opening up now

[Albuquerque]

Angel,

I know you know this, but this is what you've signed up for. You're living with an MLCer. You can't expect him to NOT exhibit MLC signs. I know you want it more than anything. But your expectations have to change. You must expect nothing. This is part of being your own person. You must be a fully functional, emotionally stable person on your own. You can't expect or need your H to give you certain things in order to feel complete. You must be able to function and be complete on your own and that includes being happy on your own. That is what is so difficult about MLC and yet is one of the best gifts that we are given if we choose to challenge ourselves.

TLC is a great thing to have when we're ill. But the lack of it cannot and should not make your day worse. The presence of it should make your day better. There is a distinct difference. You are "expecting" him to act and do certain things to show he cares and I understand that. But that has to stop. He is still deep in MLC. He is lost in a fog of confusion and despair. He doesn't really know what the hell he's doing or who he is. HE'S the one who is truly suffering long term issues and your the one who's complaining about not being asked a simple question. There are many who would say that this is unfair and is not how a marriage should be. And they'd be damn right. But the situation isn't fair. He's very very broken and you've chosen to stay and work it out. Therefore, you must be in it for the long haul and realize your relationship dynamics MUST change or else you will not make it.
(((Angel)))