Grace, Love, Compassion, and Faith - Good Stuff

[JustStunned]

Val, I felt much the same, as if I was doing most of the work. She abandoned us and now I’m helping her, really, seriously? I even spoke to my L and C about how I felt on separate occasions. Although they said it very differently what they told me added up to the same thing.

This flies in the face of some of the advice here about having the WAS do all of the work for the D. It is where I settled b/c it gave me the most peace.

If you’re doing most of the work then you’re in control of the schedule. When I first met with my C I was very overwhelmed and felt out of control. One of things we worked on first was to help me get some sense of control over my destiny. Setting the pace enabled me to only move forward when I was ready.

It did heighten the tension when my STBX realized she was not getting her schedule met. So be ready for some pushes. Keep it fair so when they come you can honestly push back with honor and integrity.

I know the temptation to just give in and get it over with. I need to be able to look myself and my children in the face and know I not only tried to stand for this relationship, but for my quality of life and their eventual inheritance, that I exhausted all my options without sacrificing honor and integrity.

I know there are no little Val’s yet. When you choose there will be. In the mean time be fair to yourself while standing. The reflection in the mirror is yours. ((()))