NEED ADVICE

[gunny]

Hello All, especially the more experienced souls on here,
Need your advice/opinion
w is leaving on the 21st of october to begin a new life in ohio, 500 miles away. We went to a mediator two weeks ago, he basically said that since we have no children, no debt, and have already agreed to divide assets 50/50 we should just file for d on our own, and save all costs. In my state(nj), you must be separated 6 mos before you can file. The 6 mos can begin whenever you and s agree, could be any date.

W and I agreed we would go that route, we have been amicable throughout our ordeal. She wants the d, i do not, but she wants to remain married until such times as she can find employment with health ben. I have agreed, no problem with this. This past sunday, during talk, I told her I am in no hurry to file the papers, because I do not want the d, and it goes against my principles to file for something I do not believe in. She immediately become agitated, saying that since I had agreed to file upon her getting job, I was now trying to control the sitch by holding back on filing, (control issues were one of her reasons for wanting d)saying why would i want to stay married to someone who does not want to stay with me.

I thought about what she said and must admit there is validity to what she says. However, as I told my c yesterday, I feel like this is the only aspect of my whole ordeal that I have had any control over. Everything else she has controlled, she dropped the bomb on her terms and date, she initially was going to leave next march, then she changed the date twice, she is taking my dog with her, etc etc. So, now, i have some degree of control as to when I file, and she does not seem to be too happy about this.

So, the question is, has anyone out there been faced with this sitch, s moving away long distance, burden of filing falling on sp that does not want d? Any advice, all comers welcome, thank you all again for your help and consideration!!
Gunny

I tho