Three weeks before I discovered the affair on July 30th, he moved out. I sent him nasty mean texts for two weeks straight after DD. I was upbeat at 3 weeks DD. He came around and even initiated family outings. During this time (at 4weeks) I found out he was still seeing OW. At 6wks after DD he told me he was no longer in love with me but loved me. Eight weeks after DD, I gave him the last resort. I told him I wasn't going to be his 2nd choice. When he stopped seeing her, I will come around. I said, "the kids and I will be fine with or without you but we'd rather do it with you. It's your choice." It's been almost 2weeks and I have seen NO CHANGE in his behavior!!
I am still upbeat when we see each other and so is he!! We see each other almost everyday because I have a 10week old and a 3yo. I do not initiate talk if it doesn't have to do with the kids. If he starts a conversation outside of the kids topic, I just listen or pause on the phone. I walk around the house while he's talking and he follows me. I end the conversation quickly. There's nothing else I can do but wait. I hate it!
During this time, I've reorganized my kitchen and bedroom and plan on painting the rooms. I've also looked for a job. He encourages me to do these things and it annoys the F-- out of me but I respond in a positive tone. Most of his things are out of the house. I've been giving him little things he's left behind here and there to show him I support him finding a place (he's living with his parents). This week I stopped telling his mom how I'm really feeling. I found out she was telling him how distraught I was. I think that may have been what I was doing wrong. Any other advice??
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
