IB, what you are feeling is normal. There is no one timeline in this. You feel what you feel.
Having said that, I think it might help to look at things a little differently perhaps.
Often when we feel regret or looking for our marriages, we do it through rose colored glasses. We tend to remember the good things and not the bad. We want what we THOUGHT we had or what we idealize in our heads.
But I think that you need to realize that while there were some good parts, there were also some really bad parts, too.
I would think that you dont really want that marriage again. If you have done the work, you should realize that you are not the same person, nor is your xh.
So, you are longing for what you think marriage should be.
I agree with Bea. No one should feel that they need someone to complete them. No on can make us happy.
It is when we are happy within ourselves that we can become open to another.
But it is in no way a necessity. You can be very happy alone - with friends and family in your life.
IB, would you really want to go back to the kind of marriage where you were so wrapped up in your husband's happiness that it didnt matter if you were? Where you put yourself last?
You may want your xh back but you do not need him.
you are an amazing woman. Full of love and compassion and strength.
Live a life that fills you up.
Use those rose colored glasses to see how much you have. Then choose to be happy each day.
