As I will do from time to time, I do some thinking about my situation and we got to the place we are, and I'll post some random thoughts to share. I've probably said this before, but I've used different words.
I think part the reason we got to where we are is we have different philosophies on M and in some cases, life in general. Since day 1, I have never considered D being an option. Well, my W? Different story. What's your incentive to work on the M if D is on the table as an option?
I think I am guilty for using this to my advantage earlier on in our M. At times, I thought my W had to take the crap I would dish out. I would probably be considered to be controlling - at least she considered me that way.
Several years ago, my W first brought up the D word. TBH, it kind of cut both ways. Part of me responded in improving myself. Part of me shut down in communicating. I was walking on eggshells.
That all being said, my approach life has typically been to continuously improve myself and to make the best of the circumstances at hand. My W deosn't appear to be one to make radical changes in herself, but she is apt to be a lot quicker at just change the circumstances - not necessarily for the better. I thinks she tends to push buttons, just looking for the right combination. I think I tend to take responsibility for my circumstances and she makes her circumstances repsonsible for how she's feeling.
Sounds like a recipe for a DB'er and a WAW, huh?
Just sharing some random semi-coherent thoughts. Some stinkin' thinkin'
I've probably said this before, but I've used different words.
