I've picked up the book too last week after reading you rave about it and have read it twice. If I had any complaints, is that it doesn't leave much on what to do when there is children involved as it is in my case. It's a fantastic read though, I just don't think I could go dark ever especially since my W and I have a son. Regardless, I admire your patience and understanding in your sitch and these revelations will continue as I've been discovering. I continue to pray for and wish you the best as always.
I haven't read the book, Telemark, but I imagine it's a tough balance. If you were making all the sacrifices as a NG and losing yourself in the process, that's not a good thing. I think we all need to make sacrifices in our M to make it work from time to time. There are legitimate compromises. It comes with working as a team. So don't beat yourself up too much. I think it can be a problem when the pendulum swings too far one way or the other, so to speak. I think in my experience, I've swung the pendulum from one side to the other in our M, and it doesn't appear either worked that well.
BTW, we handed out a book called The Rhythm of Life to the juvenile detainees, and someone wanted me to have a copy. It's an interesting read.
W goes in for a procedure (her term, so I really do not know what that entails) on Thursday to determine what is wrong with her internals. I have said nothing to her about this but of course I am concerned.
Does it look like a form of pursuing if I send her an e-mail like:
"W - I have been concerned about your health since you first told me of your condition. I do hope and pray it is a minor condition. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
M"
Too much?
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
Telemark, I think it's OK. I don't really see it as pursuing.
It's not like you asked for details, insisted on being there, or even said you were going to follow-up. You didn't ask her to tell you how it went either.
I have to agree with both Paige and JB. Express your concern but expect nothing. Be there for her if she needs you. It's not about you or your m right now, it's about your w and her health.
My prayers are with you and your w.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
