Forgiveness doesn't happen right away, it takes time. It is a very slow process and has to be a very conscious decision, almost like a habit that you have to work on daily.
You will know when you have truly forgiven your spouse because your thinking process will change. You will no longer dwell on your situation or think about the OW.
None of that will matter anymore.
Many people make the assumption that they can't forgive until they receive an apology first. Obviously this is your choice, but until you can take the higher ground and allow this MLC stuff to stop consuming you there won't be a place in your heart for true forgiveness to happen.
