Back home - but for how long?

[dearme]

Hey, just wanted to let you know that my wife and I had a very similar conversation at one point. She even said the exact same thing, "I need to find myself and I can't do that with you." I got to the point where, if I was going to say anything at all, I pretty much stuck to the same line no matter how the conversation went. I told her that I understood her experience in the marriage was different than mine, and that I understood how she felt even if I disagreed with her decision. I also told her, however, that because it was HER decision, she was the one that was going to have to leave if we separated, and she was the one who was going to have to do the heavy lifting and orchestration of everything involved in a legal separation and divorce. I wasn't going to stop her, but I wasn't going to do the work for her either. Other than that, I gave her space, didn't question her comings and goings other than what was necessary for co-parenting, and remained pleasant and calm in all of our interactions. Obviously everyone's situation is unique, and what works in one won't necessarily work in another, but I thought I'd put that out there for your consideration.