Many many of us here know what you are feeling. To go from feelings of contentment, to feelings of abandonment seemingly overnight is really difficult. My situation is different in that my H is still living in the home, and even sharing our bed, but he has been having an affair for about 3 years now. He just won't admit it to me. But I know. We all do don't we?
The hardest thing to do is to not appear needy and desperate. Next time he comes over, why don't you head to the gym or out for a walk wearing a cute workout outfit? Or be all dressed up and head out for lunch/dinner with your friends? He doesn't have to know with who. And as hard as it is to pretend to be happy when you are feeling this way, fake it if you have to. It sounds like you are a fighter so don't let this OW take your H away. GAME ON! Have some great new music playing on your stereo next time he shows up.
When he comes over, be pleasant but distant. Keep conversations short and to the point but don't talk about your R. Take extra effort to look fabulous, and then leave just when he shows up. Again, he doesn't have to know where you are going looking so GREAT! I find that being out in nature is calming and puts things in perspective. Take care of you in every way possible! Love yourself. Act Happy, be cheerful and positive. It does have a way of making you feel better even if you are only "acting" at first. Tend to agree with him by finding the small kernal of truth in anything that come out of his mouth. Example: "I'm not sure what I want" you could say "Yes, it must be confusing for you". Something like that. Get sexy!
Take care of YOU. He'll notice.
You don't deserve this. He made this choice, but this does not have to define the rest of your life.
xoxoxoxox, Abbey
Me - 49 H - 56 S - 23 D - 20 Married 25 years H moved out 10/11/13 H moved back in 10/13/13 H moved out again 8/1/14
